Hiss Of Love (The Indian Chamcha’s Take)

2756144771_a7ee033e9f_mPhone calls from people who you thought had long fossilized themselves in the upper echelons of the corporate world are always unnerving. Not to mention hil-effin-arious.

This one came from a batch-mate of mine. We go all the way back to business school, yet hadn’t managed to keep in touch during the years after. Until now, that is.

Said batch-mate was a die-hard ‘Chamcha’ (that’s what a butt-kisser is called in India) at work, so much so that we’d rechristened him ‘Bruce Chamcha’ (Die Hard? Bruce Willis? Get the connection?). Anyway, a well-meaning chap, even if generally confused most of the time.

So, Bruce Chamcha called. He had just returned from Australia and was apparently gung-ho about a new campaign called ‘Kiss of Love’ that had taken urban India by storm. Before I could explain to him that it was just a protest against moral policing by publicly kissing your loved ones and not an avant-garde reunion of butt-kissers to celebrate sycophancy, he was off.

Here’s what transpired between him and a right-wing nuttie who was protesting against the ‘Kiss of Love’ protest.

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The Sex-ahon Line

An interview with Farhan Akhtar, an Indian actor, brought out a curious phenomenon unfolding in India these days – separating the sexes and chaining down the fairer sex. While the actor fumed at the developments, I’m happy that it’s happening.

Yeah, you heard me. I’m happy that finally women are being chained down by diktats and are being denied access to proximity with men. It’s time to draw some lines around here.

And why not? There are scores of lines (both real and imaginary) drawn around the country to tell our intrusive neighbors to keep their hands off. Like the McMahon Line that separates India from China in the north-eastern part of the country.

So, isn’t it time we drew some (lines) INSIDE the country? After all, we’re a country known for “lakshman rekha“, “maryada ki rekha“, and all kinds of “rekhas” (including, of course, the glamorous actress of yester-years who goes by the same name).

So, let’s draw one to chain down the women of India (by corollary, to keep the men away) and call it the “Sex-ahon Line”.

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